When the Day isn't Good
It's tempting to not write on a day when things aren't highlight worthy. I'm not typing from my bed to share great news or some new discovery. I'm not going to tell you about strawberry picking or homemade bread. I'm ending a day that wasn't great. It wasn't awful, but it's also one I'm ok with being over.
Everything started off fine. The usual schedule, the planned routine. A wrench hit the day somewhere after lunch and things went off key. There was frustration and tears and a lot of trying to figure out what's next. I realized it a little ways in, thinks felt like a spiritual attack. Why all the turmoil? I'd need to combat these moments with truth. When the easy hand isn't what we seem to have been dealt, God is still good.
I've gone over this concept a lot over the past few months. People assume certain things that are good; a house, yard, family, maybe a dog. "Good" means going on certain vacations, having certain cars, buying certain clothes. "Oh, I think they're doing well" we'd tell someone. What a worldly view that is.
The past year has felt far from good in the world's eyes. We've had the unknowns pile on and at times I've felt as though we're in a spinning tornado and I can't make things stop. I'm scared to move forward, to hope for some reprieve, because what if "not good" is the hand I've been dealt. What if we're in a time of pruning and weeding and I can't know right now the timetable on when this will end? I'm wishing for a new chapter and a new song.
I'm obviously fond of words and using them here, but I'm often reminded these days that I don't always have to use mine. I can see what God says. He tells me He's always faithful. I read the Old Testament and see how He always had a plan. I see that even through very hard things, He used them for good. They were all part of God showing us his redemption story.
I can't help but think of this, "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances" Philippians 4:11.
So today I pray for contentment. I pray for patience and peace. I pray that on not good days I wouldn't let them take over.
I want to remember the way the boys played and laughed together at baseball tonight. I want to remember the blush pink sunset, the peonies in bloom and the bike ride to the park. I remember the truth that I see so dimly now, but someday I will see in full. I want to go to bed with those thoughts, and so I will.